I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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