sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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