you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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