Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
