i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
