No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
