You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize