Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
