oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize