I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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