What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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