my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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