So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
