he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I love you. Go after that dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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