My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
