In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how can u be prego again
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pants are for mortals
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
