i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
