I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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