I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We need a shit load of segways right now
Everyone says I win the strip club
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
