dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
