I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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