"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
