if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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