I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
