At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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