I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
