So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
