Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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