my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
