:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
