I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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