Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize