We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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