when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
