Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
