im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
