is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
