I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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