Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize