hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
