oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
