either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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