Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
