Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
