I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
