Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
