theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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