im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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