As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
