I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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