What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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