Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
