I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
