Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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