If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
