Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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