Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
