Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
