Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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