You made me cry and you don't even care
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
