I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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