WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
