I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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